Very Good (class reunion)

As I walk out the large barn door, I step into the darkness. 

After a few steps I turn and look back at the scene I had just left.

Everyone is standing in the brightly lit barn, there are hugs being given and goodbyes being said.

Several weeks earlier the cry went out, “Dennis is coming back to Maine for a visit, who wants to get together one evening with him”.

My immediate response is yes!  I always enjoy visiting with Dennis when he makes it back.

Although the main focus of the gathering was his return, a real side benefit is the chance to get together with classmates you don’t see all year or even for years.

You may not be close friends with them. You may not socialize with them throughout the year , but on occasions like this it's nice to talk and catch up. 

“Hey look that’s Jon,” I exclaimed as Jon walked across the lawn and into the barn.

“I didn’t know he was coming up from Connecticut !”  I said leaning back in my chair.

I had arrived a little early in case Mary needed help setting up, but of course it was all done.

She and Molly were chatting, waiting for folks to arrive as I walked in.

It’s interesting to watch the dynamics of the group as we slowly gathered.  

Quick hello’s , followed by short periods of awkwardness as we all get into our rhythm. 

Soon the barn was full of conversations and laughter as people talked in pairs, groups and at times, all together.

There is a never-ending supply of things to talk about and the conversations never dragged.

The chatting and mingling continued on for several hours as everyone tried to touch base with all that were there.

Unfortunately, it's time to go, life, family and maybe, just maybe, a touch of old age closes things down.

Yes, as I look back into the Barn from the darkness, I am so glad we have Denise and Mary in our lives to make sure we get the chance to get together from time to time.

From the darkness I say to no one listening.

“This was good.  Very good!”

Thank you Mary Howes and Denise Castonguay.  

Until we do it again !

 

As you all know, this year I turned 60. 

Intellectually I know it's just another number or another year and there is no real significance to turning 60.

But for me it has been a chance to reflect and look back on a life lived so far and create a score card of sorts. 

 Accomplishments, bucket lists, regrets, blessings.

I have given much thought to my life so far over the past few months.  

Much has made me smile, a few tears have flowed as well.

Today I want to talk about the greatest blessing I have. 

The one true blessing that all other blessings radiate from. 

That blessing said “I do” 40 years ago and changed my life forever. 

As a young man at the time, I just thought I was getting a sexy, kind, and patient wife. 

Little did I know how much she would fundamentally change who I was and change it for the better.

Now those words are easy to say and many do, but trust me when I tell you, for me this was oh so true. 

She brought light into a negative young man who looked at the world as just another battle waiting to fight.

She brought love and kindness into my life at a level I had never seen or felt before. 

She gave me more patience and grace than I deserved.

She sacrificed more than anyone will ever know to make our life together strong.

She allowed me to get “through” who I was, so I could become the man and husband she deserves. (still working on that one)

She helps, supports and is a friend to anyone who needs it.

She is the best wife, mother, mother-in-law, friend, daughter, and grandmother she can possibly be and she works hard each day to try to be just a little better.

So, when I look back on my life there is one true turning point, one true blessing that has enriched and made my life the wonderful journey it has been.

That Blessing has a Birthday today and turns 59! 

I think she looks pretty damn good for 59!!   Don’t you!?!?

So, if you run into this sweet lady, please take a moment and wish her a Happy Birthday.

She makes the world that touches her just a little better every day!

Love you Lisa and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Goodbye my friend.

 

Goodbye my friend.

I met Gary decades ago when I started Tournament Bass fishing here I Maine. 

He was a friendly guy who always met you with a smile and a handshake. 

I soon learned he had a level of skill that I would admire and strive to emulate. 

Although I will never achieve his level of success, his ability to catch bass combined with sportsmanship and sense of fair play is something I will always strive to attain.

Although a fierce competitor on the water and every time he entered a tournament he intended to win, he never lost his desire to teach or share info to those he respected. 

I remember one morning before a State Tournament on Cobb I stopped by Gary’s boat to say hello. He asked me if I was ready for the day.  I exclaimed with great angst that my practice had really struggled, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. .

After a moment of silence, he looked up from his rod that he was fiddling with and with a low tone and a smile he quietly said.” Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t bother fishing rocks in 6 to 8 feet of water” . He then looked back down at the lure he was fiddling with and changed the subject. 

His tip was, of course, right on target and I made the state team that year as an alternate.

He loved fishing and he enjoyed growing that love for fishing in others.

Gary was a fiercely loyal man when it came to his family and his country.

He would often call his beloved wife Sheri “His Queen” and you knew he meant it. His love for Sheri and his family was clear and well known to all that spent any time around Gary.

Will some remember Gary as being abrasive at times?? Yes, some will.  

Gary’s incredible loyalty and passion for family and country and a high level of confidence in that value structure, put him at odds with some in our society that he deemed a threat, a threat to the way of life he not only valued, but he also served to protect.

If you were on the opposite side of an issue with Gary, you knew it. 

He would clearly and concisely let you know how he felt and why he felt you were wrong in your thinking. 

I guess his strong convictions, combined with his military training and confident personality gave him the tools to address many of the issues head on that we all face today.

But please don’t get me wrong. Gary was a TRULY kind and considerate man in all aspects of his life.

Lisa and I camp at the same campground as Sheri and Gary and they would often drive by on their golf cart, if the day required a visit with us Gary would start onto the lot with the golf cart, stop the cart and ask ,”mind if we stop for a quick visit ?”   I remember 

Lisa commented on how “polite and old school “it was for him to ask.

Gary was a complex mix of traits. He was one of the friendliest and kindest men you would ever know if you were lucky enough to have him call you friend. 

He was also a fierce warrior, not afraid to take on anything or anyone who threatened his way of life, his family, or his country.

The world needs more men like Gary LeRoy but sadly yesterday 

August 6, 2024, we lost the one we had.

Gary, you will be missed by so many, we will share stories about you around boat ramps and weigh in sites for years to come, but one thing is for sure, you will never be forgotten!

 For those of us fortunate enough to have known Gary L LeRoy, we will honor your memory with rod and reel in hand .

Tight lines my friend!

Thank you!

So, if you read Fridays post you know this is a very important weekend for me. 

 I have hit two milestones that in my youth, were inconceivable.

The first, I wrote about was that today is my 60th Birthday. ( still doesn’t seem that I am that old)

The second milestone is not only more important to me but also harder for me to believe.

Today Lisa and I have been married for 40 years !!!!!!   

Again, another milestone I would never have been so bold as to predict as a young man!

I do have one question though. A question that has plagued me for quite some time.

It’s a simple question, not complicated in its structure but oh so complicated in its meaning and implementation.

The question is. 

How do you thank someone who….

Who took you back as a teenager after you broke her heart just a year earlier

Who said yes to a lifetime with a very broken, very scared young man.

Who gave up her dream to go to school for computer science right out of high school because I wouldn’t support it

Who lived in supportive, loving, compliance as I controlled all aspects of our new marriage for the first few years.

Who lived through all the tears I created in those early years

Who supported everything I did with a level of selflessness that bordered on saintly

Who gave me two beautiful children

Who has always worked to help support our family while also managing and tending a household and for many years without help.

Who agreed to move to Alabama and leave her family and friends so I could follow my dream of becoming SOMEONE.

Who spent countless days working and managing a home and teenage boys while I traveled around the country chasing my career.

Who cried herself to sleep too many nights with no one to wipe away the tears or ease her pain.

Who gives 100% of herself to me, her children, our grandchildren, and Daughter in laws.

Who thinks of other first,  ALWAYS.

I could go on and on, but you get the point. 

40 years of support and love at a level I never deserved.

So, I ask you again, How?

How can I possibly repay 40 years of love, sacrifice, and commitment like that?

How?

I love you Lisa!

You have gone from being just a        PART        of my world all those years ago 

To now you        ARE     my world!

 You taught this broken man what’s truly important in life!

Happy 40th.

60? REALLY??

I have never been one for milestones.

 I don’t really set goals for myself or chart a path for my life. 

I have never had a new year’s resolution!

 I basically chug a long one day at a time, focusing on the issues at hand and not much more.

This weekend marks two milestones that I never thought I would achieve.

I would never have been so bold as to even set them as a goal!!

This Rambling will deal with one of those goals today.

Sunday, I turn 60 years old……60!!

Turning 60 is an achievement I never thought I would attain. 

As a young man my vision for the future never had a 4th quarter built in.

I’m not sure why but my vision for my future was always extremely limited. Very shallow, and the idea of decades out seemed unattainable.

Although never envisioned or even imagined, here I am.

For those whom 60 is long gone, my ramblings may seem humorous, even a bit dramatic as you navigated this milestone and pushed on with little to no fanfare.

For me age has always been just a number.

 I never really saw birthdays as a big deal and would often joke that hitting a birthday simply meant I survived another trip around the sun.

 Something to celebrate in and of itself I guess, but not something I paid much attention to. 

Just another day.

But this year for some reason feels different. 

From the time I could see 60 approaching I started to think differently. 

To reflect, to regret as well as celebrate. 

To look forward with a new focus that was always lacking in my life to this point.

I have spent more time looking "back"  this year than looking forward. 

It’s often easy to get stuck in the stories of yesterday.

 I have been looking back to try to see where it all went. 

The 30’s, 40’s, and now the  50’s gone, in what seems a blink of an eye.

What has my life amounted to? 

What did I make of my 60 years on this rock?

At times, a deep sense of sadness or melancholy has overtaken me this year for reasons I can’t explain. 

Lost opportunities? Regrets? 

Not really sure. 

While journeying back through time scouring for memories to add substance to the years left behind, I would often feel like my life had slowly slipped away and I couldn’t seem to recall what I had lost.

I have traveled to every state in the country except North Dekota.  Most of that travel took place in the late 1990’s early 2000’s. 

Every year I lose a little more of that journey. 

I know I went to Kansas, but I can’t remember when or why. 

I know I went here or there but the memories have gone as though never there to begin with.

Through my travels I have met thousands of people. 

Many of them I even called friends. 

Far too many have slipped beyond the edge and if not gone, the memories have faded beyond recognition.

Yes, I know what you are all thinking.

 It’s a part of aging to forget things and it’s only natural to have decades of experiences fade over time. 

Yes, it may be natural, and it may be an inevitable part of reaching the 4th quarter of this game we call life. 

But for the first time, this year, I became aware that …...

It was me! 

I am that 4th quarter player.

So, in the past year there have been many trips through the rear-view mirror. Some went well. Many were dead ends,

This year also saw an increased attention and focus on the future. 

With the Average American lifespan down slightly to 76.33 year, the time I have left before I am running on borrowed time seems frighteningly short compared to the years I have already stacked up.

16 years! 

Obviously, I could live longer and there is also a chance I might not make the 16. 

One never knows.

Again, this is nothing new and it is a natural part of aging that billions of people have experienced since time began.

But once again.

 This is now me. 

I am that person.

The past year has been a solid and healthy grounding you might say, a real look at the path I have made on this earth so far and a decision to look forward and contemplate how I want the next phase to go.  

The country artist Tim McGraw has a hit song “Live Like You Were Dying “. 

I would say that is sage advice for anyone no matter how old you are, as we never know how many days any of us have left.

But for me, entering the 4th quarter, 

I have decided to take that to heart.

How I got here doesn’t matter and the rearview mirror has been removed. 

There is only one path now and it is forward! 

Forward with a focus on making memories with family and friends! Making sure my loved ones know how much I love them, and making sure that when I am gone, my grandbabies smile every time they think of me!

Now that’s a set of goals worth working on!!