TIME

 Warning! Warning! Warning!

Very Long and probably incoherent but "might" be worth reading but no promises.

As many of you know. This past summer I celebrated my 60th trip around the sun.

Not a particularly special event nor is it any great achievement on my part. 

It’s simply a number and a moment that recognizes the passing of time. 

For me turning 60 seemed to have caused a minor shift in thinking.

Although turning 60 has created no drastic physical or emotional change in me. It did trigger something that I have been trying to figure out. 

Leading up to the big 60 I felt different. Things seemed different.

 I couldn’t put my finger on it! 

Was I feeling melancholy?

 Was I starting to sense my mortality?

 Was regret from the past creeping in and rearing its ugly head ?

No, none of those seemed to be able to explain the shift in my emotions and my thinking. 

The day came and went and like everyone else who hits this milestone of life,  little if anything changed in my day to day.

And yet it had. Inside something was different.

But what ?

This morning somewhere around 3 am my brain came to life ( as it often does ) and the answer was clear.

The answer is …………..Time

Yes ,  leading up to and since my birthday , what has changed is my thoughts and understanding of Time. 

Time left.

Time wasted. 

Time cherished 

Time regretted .

What has shifted for me is the concept of  time and how I now look at it. 

I couldn’t see this while I was going through this shift in thinking, but now it all makes sense.

Before I go any further let’s look at time. What is it ?

Well actually, “ time “ in and of itself, doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as a TIME. You can’t hold it in your hand. You can’t see it, change it, or affect it.

No time itself doesn’t exist as an object.

What I’ve come to realize is that time is simply the measure of brief moments of existence.

So, let’s pause for a moment and let’s look at reality or existence. What is it?

Does history exist ?  Is the future a real thing?

I would argue that neither the past nor the future exist anywhere but in our mind. 

The only reality is the current moment you and I are in at this exact moment.

Once that moment is gone, it only exists in our thoughts. You can’t physically go back in time. 

Once gone, a moment ceases to exist except in our mind or the collective mind of our society.

Let me give you an example. If I walk alone into the woods and I snap my fingers . The second the sound has faded, that moment in time no longer exists. The snap is forever gone , EXCEPT in the memory I have of the snap. That moment and everything in it has been replaced with a new moment and the snap is now not a part of current reality.

The snap only exists now in a thought string that I will carry with me until that leaves me and at that point the snap and the moment in “time” the snap took place will be gone from existence forever.

Now if lisa was with me and witnessed the Snap, that moment in time would also live in her memory. Our collective memory of the snap would live on BUT the actual snap and the moment in time the snap took place does not exist anymore. Merely our memory of the moment.

The same thing holds true with the future . The future doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as the future. You can’t hold it, you can’t leave this moment and go there , Future time Like past time is something that lives within our minds.

Now lucky for us our world is a very stable environment and for the MOST PART our minds can “predict” what the future could and should look like. But that too has no basis in reality,  its mearly a forward projection of our current state of existence. 

It doesn’t exist YET . We only hope what is now, is what is coming our way but again that lives within our mind and has no basis for reality.

Ask anyone who has had a tragedy or an accident lately if they knew or thought it was going to happen, the answer will be no.

Ask anyone who suddenly lost a loved one, if they ever dreamed that day would come so quickly and they will likely say no. Our “future” as perceived by us is only a narrative created by our mind and in reality doesn’t exist. There is nothing “there” in the future. 

Why because the future doesn’t exist. The only thing that is real is the current moment.

Our reality is a combination of anticipation of moments to come,  the reality of the moment as we live it, and the string of memories we retain as that moment fades and is replaced by the next. 

When you look at those three things,  it’s easy to see that only one is real.

 This moment. The other two are thoughts in our minds. One predictive, one in memory but neither are real .

 The only thing that exists is this current moment. 

So, what is time? 

Well it’s really three things. 

Perceived time. Anticipation of what will come ( lives in our mind and is not real)

Current moment. The only thing that is real, and is the only one we can do anything with or impact.

Memory time. Again the collective memories of the real moments we have lived ( again live in our minds and have no basis in reality, except through  thought strings we keep)

Time and our perception of the passing of time ,  is when we combine all three into a seamless narrative .

 When we do that, we are able to feel and perceive the passage of time.

Without all three,  time and the passing of time,  would not work 

So, by now you are surely asking yourself,  what in the world is my point,  and what does this have to do with turning 60.

Glad you asked.

If you internalize what I have said above, and you truly understand the ramifications you should understand where your priorities should be in life.

This moment, right now,  is the only place where you can do anything. This is the only reality we have.

Focusing on memories of the past. Dwelling on mistakes that are now simply thought strings weaving through our mind,  is pointless.

Worrying about and fantasizing about the future that also doesn’t exist is also a waste of time .

Both serve no purpose and add no value to your life as you live it in this moment.

Now let me clarify. You can use THIS MOMENT to impact both.

Now wait a minute AL,  you just said they weren’t real. If they are not real, then how can we affect them in our current moment?

Great question .

The past and the actions you took in the past are GONE . They do not exist anymore except in your mind and the mind of those impacted.

 BUT the ramifications of those moments in time could be lingering into your current moment. The only moment that is real.

Let me give you an example. If you hurt a friend 20 years ago and it caused an end to your friendship. There is NOTHING you can do to change the past. You can’t go back and do it over , you can’t pretend it didn’t happen. The memory thread of that event exists in  your mind and the mind of the person you hurt. 

It’s in the collective  consciousness of those involved that the event  lives on. THAT cannot be changed.

All you can do is use THIS moment to try and change the reality that exists NOW , The reality of not having your friend anymore.

 BECAUSE of a moment in time that is now gone.  The ramifications of those previous actions still exist, 

That is something you can work on!  

The past doesn’t exist, but the outcomes of those events may still exist in this moment.

Those  lingering outcomes you can use the current moment to have an impact on. But all you have is the current moments because that is all there is to reality.

What about the future ?   Another great question. If the future doesn’t exist, do we hopelessly just wait until those moments manifest themselves as current time and accept what that moment brings us.

Well, we sure can, and so many do, they take what life brings them and deal with it in the moment when it arrives.

But even though the future doesn’t exist we can perceive a future. Again, a future rooted completely in our Minds with no basis in reality.

Lucky for us. Most of our existence is so stable that we can conceive a future where the sun rises and sets. A future where the current moment continues forward, and we can anticipate the changes coming based on current conditions and the memories we have of how the past moments have led to this moment. Yes, we can “somewhat” predict what our future MIGHT be.

But as we all know,  the story we paint in our mind rarely ends up coming into existence. Death, tragedy, and unexpected events change our perceived future as if to only solidify that the future does not exist until it becomes the current moment.

Now we can certainly do our best to create the future we would like. School, Training, faith, making decisions that we HOPE will help create the future we want . BUT again, the future doesn’t exist, and we are merely Hedging our bets that actions today will impact the coming moments in our lives.

That is a good bet to take and something well worth doing vs simply waiting to see what life has in store for you .

So, what does all this mean? What’s the point ? 

The point is the only real thing we have is this MOMENT right now.  The only place we have to work on the memories from the past or the desires for the future is this moment.

By the time you read this the moments I took to write this will be gone and will only exist in the thought strings of my mind. To the entire world as a whole. Those moments did not and do not exist. 

The only existence left is my memory of those moments and the outcome. 

This rambling.

So again, what in the world does this have to do with turning 60 and the feelings I’ve had about it?

Simply that this morning at 3am it all came together and made sense.

It’s all about TIME. The only time that exists. 

The moment I am in at any given moment. 

I need to focus on that moment because it’s the only place I have to work. 

Feeling regret about events in the past is a waste. It’s gone. If I can mitigate the effects of bad decisions I made in the past, effects that still exist in the current moment, WONDERFUL! 

I need to use the current moment to mitigate those.

 If I can’t do anything about it, realize that the guilt, self-torture and doubt I feel over the event resides only within my mind and I need to let it go. That reality is gone, and I can do nothing about it.

Same with the future, instead of worrying about when I will die or who will go first, Lisa or me.

Instead of worrying about what health issue old age will greet me with , Dementia , mobility issues, quality of life issues? There are a thousand demons that may await this aging process.

No, instead of worrying about that perceived existence that is not real .

I need to focus on what I can do today to “hedge my bet” for the perceived moments I hope to have.

I have to accept  that until those future perceptions become real moments, the future, the outcome of my efforts will be unknown.

So the shift I have been going through but unable to see has been in a shift in the concept of time.

Instead of focusing on time wasted in the past, Time left in the future and all the baggage that accompanies these perspectives.

I have come to realize that the only TIME that matters is Now. This moment, what am I doing with the only time that is real.

How do I make the most of this moment (or time) as it is the only one that matters and the only one that I can actually do something within. 

I have to learn to enjoy THIS MOMENT.

Make the most of THIS MOMENT

Stop worrying about tomorrow, next year, or decades from now as that reality doesn’t exist.

Reality is now. All else lives in the mind.

Everything else is just battles in my mind that are only real if I allow them to be.

What time are you focusing on?