Diaper Duty !

 

I have to say being a Grandfather is a true joy!

 Watching my grandchildren grow provides a satisfaction that’s hard to explain and the rewards are endless.

I am blessed in that both of my boys and their families have moved back to Maine and live within 30 minutes of Lisa and me.

This week I had the pleasure of watching my youngest Grandbaby Lilah . She is 11 months old, and I got the chance to watch her for two days this week while mom had to work and dad was out of town.

I picked her up each morning just before 6 am and mom stopped by after work about 4 to pick her up. It was a great 2 days for sure!

Being a grandpa brings you back to a time many decades earlier when their parents were their age.  With Lilah it was over 30 years ago her dad was that age. I see so much of him in her !

You get to relearn so many skills that have faded over the years as you start watching your grandbabies !

Skills like sprinting INSIDE the house, a skill needed to stop a potential disaster as it unfolds feet away! Oh, how I had forgotten how nimble one must be to watch a toddler !!  They move quick !!!

There is also the ever-needed talent of feeding a child who would rather wear the food than eat it !! Yup have napkin in hand while feeding ! Check !

And then there is the ever-popular clutter scramble. As fast as you can pick up the messes being made from things being thrown on the floor, the quicker they make a new mess !

All valuable skills one loses once your children grow up and no grandbabies exist.

I am proud to say, like riding a bike, I got right back into the “swing” of things with no problems! I was an instant success at this babysitting thing !!

My least favorite skill I had the pleasure of relearning was the all-important diaper duty !

Up until Wednesday it had been over 30 years since I changed a diaper! 

Although an  important exercise to the wearer, I must admit, it is the least favorite  skill I had to relearn.

My first leap into this forgotten skill of diaper changing was a fully loaded diaper that smelled like something  I should have alerted homeland security of! I mean seriously , I am sure It had to be deadly and some form of biological weapon .

Wow!  Way to jump right back into it , I thought to myself!

 Oh, and it was the cutest shade of green, I am convinced  that was a failed attempt to cover up the clearly deadly nature of the package!

I am sure I took way longer than I should have as I worked my way through this test of my seriously outdated diaper changing skills!

 Put to the test was  my ability to keep my stomach content in their current location and remain conscious, while cleaning up and getting a fresh diaper back on!

I am proud to say I was able to rid the world of what I still believe was some form of nerve agent and I never lost my bodily functions !! Quite an accomplishment for a guy who hadn’t touched a diaper in 3 decades !!

Lilah gets LOTS of vegetables in her diet which is great for her growth and development but, well…….you know !!

 As I explained the major adventure I had just been through to her mother via a text message ( one I almost provided photo evidence of but didn’t ) her reply was “ya her poops can be funky sometimes “ 

Oh really???? I thought to myself !!! Clearly the nerve gas is getting to her also !

Feeling pretty smug about my success we both went back to playing .

It wasn’t long before Lilah started getting fussy. We had eaten lunch and it was time for a nap.

As I sat in my recliner, I snuggled in with a slow rocking motion and a low humming while she laid quietly on my chest.

Within just minutes she was sound asleep!

Another success in the grandpa files !! 11-month-old asleep for a nap with no fighting ! Check !

At this point I had two choices. I could try to stand up and put her in her little chair she likes to sleep in, this move would risk waking her up and ruining her nap time. Or I could just sit there reclined in my chair with her on my chest and watch TV.

I chose to remain where I was and not risk waking her up.

This is a decision I would live to regret!

As we sat there and she slept she had the cuties little snore. Not loud but just a whisper of a snore as she breathed in and out . I am sure that exactly how I snore as well !! She probably takes after me !!

Now I am a VERY hot-blooded person. I have an immense amount of body heat, so it wasn’t long before we were both getting warm .

Here is where my decision to let her sleep  on my chest and my skills as a diaper technician collide.

Soon I noticed that the warmth between us seemed……..well…… wet?  And it was getting wetter.  

OH NO ! I though to myself. Fear runs through my mind as I consider the possibilities, there weren’t very many that end well !

Something is not right! How can this be ?? It wasn’t long before I realized my little angel had peed and not only was she wet, but for some strange reason my t-shirt from the middle of my chest to the top of my jeans was now wet and VERY warm.

Imagine my “joy” when I realized I had just been peed on and it was soaking into my clothing as we sat there ! 

SO, I thought to myself, now what ???

  I have a wet baby sleeping on my chest that somehow peed all over me!  The problem was she had only been sleeping about 20 minutes !! 

What to do , oh what to do?

 My mind raced as to the best way to get out of this situation! No solution seemed to make sense at this point. 

She was wet, I was wet! She is sleeping soundly and still snoring that cute little snore.

Well despite what I should have done at that moment, my desire to have a happy baby after a refreshing nap won out and yes you guessed it.

Grandpa and Lilah sat there in his chair waiting for her to wake up (about 30 more minutes)so Gramp could change them BOTH.

Although wet and covered in pee I decided it was more important to let her sleep and have a happy child, than escape a situation that had already gotten as bad as it was going to get !

When she finally did wake up and I had a chance to examine the catastrophe to see what went wrong, I realize I didn’t cinch the diaper tight enough and it had slid down creating an almost unobstructed path for the pee to find me !! 

Diaper duty fail !

BUT not all was lost. Lilah got a great nap and upon waking up, after BOTH of us got cleaned up, we had  a great afternoon playing and enjoying the day!

So, they say there are morals to every story,  I guess there is in this one also !

1)      1) Not ALL skills come back without practice!

2)      2) Don’t let a little pee interrupt a good nap !

 That second one may come in handy as I get older !!